Are YOU Making Adultism Okay?

In nonprofits today, there is attention paid towards racial, gender, and other forms of discrimination. However, little is made of a very real form of discrimination that is undermining a lot of well-meaning social justice activists’ work today: adultism.

In my new book, Ending Discrimination Against Young People, I define adultism in three ways:

  • Bias towards adults;
  • Discrimination against children and youth;
  • The addiction to adults expressed throughout our culture, society, and personal ways of being.

Adultism occurs throughout education, including K-12 schools, government agencies and policy-making, and many other places that intersect with education – even democratic education!

Despite our best intentions, many adults and students try to make discrimination against young people okay in all kinds of ways. Following are some of them.

15 Ways Adults Try to Make Adultism Okay

  1. Denying discrimination against children and youth. Adults might say: “This is a free country, and kids can do whatever they want if they put their minds to it,” or “Hey, wait a second, that’s not what I meant… I mean… you took my words out of context, don’t make it try to sound like I’m adultist!” They may also claim that young people being able to talk about adultism makes the adults non-adultist.
  2. Telling young people they are too sensitive. Adults might say, ”You’re too sensitive,” or, “If youth weren’t so aggressive, vocal, hostile, angry, or upset, adults would listen to youth and they wouldn’t get in trouble!”
  3. Speaking for children and youth. Adults might say, “I’m a youth ally myself, so why can’t we all just ignore age, it’s not like it’s even real. It is not as if I tangibly benefit from being an adult every day or anything! Can’t we all just get along?”
  4. Turning the tables. Adults might say, “You are just discriminating against adults, you know. You’re discriminating against me right now, you hypocrite!”
  5. Denying reality. Adults might say, ”Whoa, that guy over there is SUCH an adultist, unlike me… I know exactly the right things to say and I’m never adultist. By which I mean overtly offensive about it. Hold on, I think I’m going to go spit on that adult. I hate him.”
  6. Bending over backwards. Adults might say, ”You kids are so right! I agree with everything you say, because you’re right, of course
  7. Reinforcing adultism with personal reasons. Adults might say, ”But a youth cut in front of me in line at the grocery store last night, said something stupid, mugged me, or took my hubcaps! So as far as I’m concerned, they proved all of my prejudices!”
  8. Taking on adultism. Adults might say, ”I can’t possibly be an adultist… I’m part of the oppressed due to the fact that I’m a woman! (or gay, poor, young, transsexual, etc.)”.
  9. Trying to be a youth. Adults might say, “Dang, dude! I listen to emo and rock out at the shows, and you know I’m down with the homies. Did you see the last edition of that graphic novel?”
  10. Being constantly available to youth. Adults might say, ”Teach me, help me. I’m just an adult, so I need your wisdom as a youth to show me how not to be adultist. Wait, is what I said earlier adultist? How about this shirt I’m wearing? Can you come with me to this meeting, so they know I’m not adultist?”
  11. Rationalizing adultism through faux-empathy. Adults might say, “Unlike all those other adults out there, I’m an anti-adultist.” “I do anti-adultist work and I try to educate other adults about adultism.” “Wait, did you hear me?”
  12. Switching sides. Adults might say, ”I totally agree. Adultism is one system of oppression among many interlocking ones that specifically awards more privilege and power to all adults whether they like it or not and serves to keep the existing power structure in place. Oh… what? You want me to volunteer in a community organization, contribute money, do security for your protest march? Uh… yeah maybe next time, I’ve got to wash my hair tonight. And walk my dog, see the latest episode of my favorite show, manage my stock portfolio…”
  13. Sympathy for youth. Adults might say,”Oh my god… that is so awful. I’m so sorry. Sorry. I can’t imagine what it must be like… I’m sorry. That’s so awful. I feel so bad for you. Sorry.”
  14. Being a friend by force. Adults might say, “Hey, I’m not an adultist, OK? Some of my best friends are youth. See?” or “Yeah, I’ve known her since I was a kid, and she’s never said anything adultist to me!”
  15. Hiding behind their age. Youth might say, ”What? I can’t possibly be adultist – I AM a youth. How can I be adultist against myself, huh? No, I haven’t heard of internalized adultism, and I still think youth involvement is reverse discrimination!”

All of these things actually discriminate against young people by favoring adults over young people. Identifying how you personally rationalize adultism can lead to becoming a more effective adult ally. All adults are adultist, and most young people are too.

To learn more about adultism, check out my book Facing Adultism. Full of examples and actions, I intend for educators, youth workers, parents, and others to step up and change the ways they interact with young people. Read the book to learn more!

Getting Creative

In everyone’s life, there’s a time and place to engage other people, and to engage themselves. Now, that could be anytime and any place! The ultimate learning is the essential understanding of how these sustained connections happen.

CommonAction has been teaching these understandings for more than a decade. We have a number of tools, lessons and activities that can help young people and adults come to these understandings for themselves.

To find any of our tools, search this site, and contact us today to talk about what we can do for you!

Adam Fletcher in Pittsburgh

Join CommonAction’s Adam Fletcher next month as he makes an appearance in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania! The Allegheny County United Way is bringing Adam in to speak at the bi-annual APOST Conference. Adam will be on the scene throughout the day, presenting a keynote and a workshop for participants.

Presented in the first part of the APOST Conference, Adam’s keynote will be called Engage ALL Youth, Everywhere, ALL the Time! In his description, he says, “For a long time, the most engaged youth seemed predictable: They were successful, they were connected, and they made adults happy. Today, the picture is a lot different.” 

Adam goes on to share that his talk will focus audience members on the ways youth engagement is expanding, and how important it is to recognize where youth are engaged right now. Using stories, humor, and examples from his 20 plus years experience and research, Adam says the audience will be engaged themselves, learning practical, meaningful, and powerful ways to engage all youth, everywhere, all the time!

In the second part of the APOST Conference, Adam’s workshop is 5 Steps to Youth Engagement
Program. Adam explains, “Evaluators say it is a science and seasoned youth workers say it is an art. No matter which perspective you have, everyone admits it is a little of both.” He will use this workshop to look at some the key questions in youth engagement: What is youth engagement, What gets youth engaged, and What gets organizations real outcomes? 

Adam’s 5 Steps to Youth Engagement explore some of the gray areas of youth engagement like how to engage youth without spending money, the difference between youth participation and youth engagement, and how to engage someone repeatedly without burn out. He also addresses how to stop youth disengagement, how to understand the rules of youth engagement, and how to engage adults in engaging young people. You will leave with practical action you can use right away.
Learn more about the APOST Conference and join Adam this year by visiting the APOST Conference website today!